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Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.
Wrestling is ballet with violence.
Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
Golf is a game in which you yell ‘fore,’ shoot six, and write down five.
You can’t win unless you learn how to lose.
These are my new shoes. They’re good shoes. They won’t make you rich like me, they won’t make you rebound like me, they definitely won’t make you handsome like me. They’ll only make you have shoes like me. That’s it.
Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion, a screwball can be a pitch or a person, stealing is legal and you can spit anywhere you like except in the umpire’s eye or on the ball.
Sports do not build character. They reveal it.
You win some, lose some, and wreck some.