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Women should be obscene and not heard.
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
No man goes before his time – unless the boss leaves early.
The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution – this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths.
I remember the first time I had sex – I kept the receipt.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.