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Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
To you I’m an atheist to God, I’m the Loyal Opposition.
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
I think being funny is not anyone’s first choice.
If my films make one more person miserable, I’ll feel I have done my job.
I don’t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.