I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.
In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words, and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet.
My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.