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I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
Women are like elephants. I like to look at ’em, but I wouldn’t want to own one.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy it’s only a question of degree.
You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.