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I’m still going to make mistakes, but I don’t have any problems with publicly professing my faith now. It just took me a long time to get to the right place in my relationship with Christ.
I always believed in God and Christ, but I was in rebellion – trying to make my relationship with God fit into my life instead of making my life fit in with him. I was stubborn.
I just hope it grows into where it was before because I want my son to see it. I want him to have a positive memory of it going forward, so he can be proud of his daddy.
The Christian community latched onto a lot of my music, because there were a lot of things about my struggle they related to. But I didn’t really want to come out and be identified as a Christian, because I didn’t want to be a hypocrite, because my life wasn’t right.
And it took me, since I was 17 and left home, running from God, to now, as a 30-year-old man, when I honestly feel like I’ve come full circle and my heart’s finally in the right place.
I think everything worked out the way it was supposed to. Mark’s happier. I’m sober. There are still phone calls to be made, people I need to say something to. But everyone from Creed who I’ve offended or hurt, I ask for their forgiveness.
It just took all of that to come to a screeching halt, to get to the point of having nothing, for me to finally realize, Hey, what are you fighting with this for? Until then, I hadn’t claimed my faith as my own I had just grown up with it.
My dad always said I was hard-headed, that it would take something like that to wake me up spiritually, and I guess it did. My heart had gotten so beat up that I didn’t have anything left to give.