Quotes by Rita Rudner

To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior.’

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn’t want him to.

I get a lot of return business. I think it’s all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.

My husband gave me a necklace. It’s fake. I requested fake. Maybe I’m paranoid, but in this day and age, I don’t want something around my neck that’s worth more than my head.