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I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that.
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car’s headlights and tell you exactly which way it’s coming.
I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, ‘You’re gonna have to move, you’re blocking a fire exit.’ As though if there was a fire, I wasn’t gonna run. If you’re flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn’t have one. So I got a cake.