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The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I’ll never be as good as a wall.
All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain’t funny!
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means… it’s dirty.
I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I’m upside down.
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.
I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re goin’, and hook up with them later.