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If my kid couldn’t draw I’d make sure that my kitchen magnets didn’t work.
I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn’t work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.
I’m a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone’s life.
Y’know, you can’t please all the people all the time… and last night, all those people were at my show.
Every time I go and shave, I assume there’s someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, ‘I’m gonna go shave, too.’
I like refried beans. That’s why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they’re just as good and we’re just wasting time. You don’t have to fry them again after all.
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
I love blackjack. But I’m not addicted to gambling. I’m addicted to sitting in a semi circle.
Rice is great if you’re really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.
I’d like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart.