Quotes by Lily Tomlin

I guess if people couldn’t profit from war I don’t think there would be war.

The best mind-altering drug is the truth.

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.

But there are too many people that make so much money at the cost of lives of other humans and for no reason but to make the money.

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?

Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.

Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.