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I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.
I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I’m watching the highlights.
I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?
I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger.
It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.
My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.
My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.