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The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means.
I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.
This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!
If at first you don’t succeed… so much for skydiving.
My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that’s not so bad but New York City?
My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.
I know a man who doesn’t pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
I’ve been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she’ll kill me.