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Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
Electricity is really just organized lightning.
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?