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Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward. Next to the first one in the morning, it’s the best one of all. It tasted so good that even if I had been frigid I would have pretended otherwise just to be able to smoke it.
American couples have gone to such lengths to avoid the interference of in-laws that they have to pay marriage counselors to interfere between them.
I’d rather rot on my own floor than be found by a bunch of bingo players in a nursing home.
People are so busy dreaming the American Dream, fantasizing about what they could be or have a right to be, that they’re all asleep at the switch. Consequently we are living in the Age of Human Error.
Americans worship creativity the way they worship physical beauty – as a way of enjoying elitism without guilt: God did it.
He travels fastest who travels alone, and that goes double for she. Real feminism is spinsterhood.