Quotes by Charlie Sheen

We’re going to shoot one Polaroid per show. I’m going to sign this before it even develops because I know that once it develops with my signature on it, it’s worth a fortune. I’ll make this a work of magic warlock art.

I try to be known more for my work than for anything else.

People say you have to work on your resentments. Yeah, no, I’m gonna hang onto them and they’re gonna fuel my attack.

I think what drove me insane for a long time is feeling like I hadn’t earned most of what I achieved because it came so fast.

I’m dealing with fools and trolls and soft targets. It’s just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee. I don’t have time for these clowns.

When friends asked me, Can we help? I’d say, Not unless you can alter time, speed up the harvest or teleport me off this rock. I used that line from Star Wars.

I’m sorry, man, but I’ve got magic. I’ve got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time – and this includes naps – I’m an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground.

I don’t have time for their judgement and their stupidity and you know they lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and look at their loser lives and then they look at me and they say, ‘I can’t process it’ well, no, you never will stop trying, just sit back and enjoy the show. You know?

The only thing I’m addicted to is winning. This bootleg cult, arrogantly referred to as Alcoholics Anonymous, reports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent.

As kids we’re not taught how to deal with success we’re taught how to deal with failure. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. If at first you succeed, then what?