Quotes by Bill Maher

This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution.

The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don’t know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, ‘I’ve got one question: What color is the red phone?’

Things aren’t right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?

If you think you have it tough, read history books.

I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.

Let’s face it God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.