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We all seek approval, and our mother’s seal is usually the most important. The nitty gritty is that we have to accept ourselves, even if it is just to be ready for the next cut-down. Mom’s blessing or not.
My mother told me Homer Ditto was not my father. Nope. Mom had had a fling with some other guy who was my dad. Some dude who didn’t stick around too long who Mom was happy to get rid of. She chose Homer, and Homer chose me, so he lent me his name even though I didn’t have his blood.
I was born to be married. I just feel comfortable there. I love the idea of being partnered for ever. I love my girlfriend, we’ve been best friends since I was 18. There’s not a thing we haven’t been through except for marriage… We’ve had talks about what we would name our kids since we were in our 20s.
I have no control over what people think of me but I have 100% control of what I think of myself, and that is so important. And not just about your body, but so many ways of confidence. You’re constantly learning how to be confident, aren’t you?
When I am made fun of in the press I just remember those days when I’d come home to find that the water had been turned off because my mother couldn’t afford the bill. Suddenly, everything feels easier.
Do I ever think Gossip will be really massive in America? No, I don’t think it’ll happen – and that’s fine. It’s kind of nice because I get to experience everything at once. I get to come home and it not be weird, like in Paris or something. It is nice to be completely anonymous.
My size has helped make me an amazing performer too. The cliche of the Funny Fat Friend: I absolutely was that character – I am that character… It’s a complicated bag of tools I acquired, and I’ve put them all to work onstage.
I just like food too much, and I don’t want to change. I spent so much of childhood trying to change, and I just got sick of it… I don’t want to look like Britney Spears, I just don’t want to. She’s hideous.
As with most phobias, the fear of flying does make some sense, but if ever there was a fear worth quashing then this is it. After all, life is short, and there’s a great big world to explore out there.
You live in this shadow that you’re going to burn in Hell until you’re saved. And I still worry about it a little. I don’t believe in Heaven, but I do still fear Hell.