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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron – namely, that he is a blockhead.
Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one’s voice.
Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one’s voice.
Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
Revolution, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.