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Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.
Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.
Land: A part of the earth’s surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure.
We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to call our attitude of subjection a posture of respect.
Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.