Quotes by Adam Carolla

I swear my car won’t run unless I’m picking my nose: At least, I’m that superstitious about it, so I don’t want to take any chances.

I think we’re getting to the point where everyone’s getting fat and everyone’s getting allergic, or claims to be allergic to something and people can’t walk from their front door to their car without a bottle of water in their hand because they have to hydrate every three and half steps.

My first car was a motorcycle.

The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.

In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.